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    A Story with no Title

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    AnhDan

    Posts : 49
    Mesos : 10723
    Location : My House and the Park

    A Story with no Title

    Post by AnhDan on Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:25 pm

    I was searching through my folders when I discovered an old note document, remembering that me and a friend of mine has wrote out a story. He first typed it out with him and a couple of our friends while I decided to continue it for him. This was typed out over a year ago, so sorry for mistakes and grammar.

    Spoiler:
    It was a warm and sunny day outside . Alex and Viter (who were my friends ever since first grade) had came to my house today and asked me if I wanted out to go outside and play with them at the neighborhood playground . Of course, I said yes . I was 12, Alex was 13, and Viter was 12 too . Myself, Alex, and Viter loved going on imaginary adventures when playing in the playground . We use to think about all sorts of different adventures. Scary ones, funny ones, and even weird ones . We used sticks, pretending they were swords and throwing rocks as if they were throwing-stars . We use to be there until 5:00 a'clock, having loads of fun . Then went home to sleep, but still played together the next day . The imaginary adventures never got old to us, we just loved them . Sometimes my mom would even yell from the window, " Noel, you have to come in side; it's getting dark out!" and I would always respond with " Let me just finish this adventure, Mom ! Please ! " . Obvisouly, she never let me finish . So then, I would have been in my room the whole day being mad because I couldn't finish an adventure with Alex and Viter. But I always got over it after one hour passed by . We always use to say we wanted to explorers when we were older and do things like find gold, kill monsters, and be famous for explorering half of the world . It was until then, one day came .. Myself, Alex, and Viter saw a hole in the playground that no one else would have noticed because it was kinda` small, but large enough for us to fall into . We have thought it would have been a good idea to make it as if it was an mine for us to explorer . " Guys, what are we waiting for? Let's go inside and explorer, my friends ! " Alex said . Viter then said, " But how do we know if we'll get hit while falling down? It's all dark inside . " Alex replied, " It's okay, I doubt anything will hit us while falling down. " Alex jumped down the hole first; then Viter; and lastly, myself

    Alex dropped face first onto the hard, cold floor. Then Viter dropped down on Alex's back, and Alex said " Ah, get off of me Viter! " Viter rolled off of Alex's back and replied, " I didn't mean to; I thought you would move out the way by the time you fell to the floor!"; " Yeah, like I'm going to move out of the way as soon as I finished hitting floor painfully! " Suddenly, I fell upon the two of them while they were arguing . Alex yelled out, " Oh great, Noel! First it was Viter, now you!" then I said, " Well, I'm sorry ? " . Suddenly Viter tapped our heads, " Look guys, a tunnel." We both turned our heads and saw a passage way. Alex suddenly broked the silence " Well let's go guys" " Wait, don't you think this is seem a least BIT scarey to you?" I said. " What are you Noel, a Banana?" I thought for a second, he was right, I hated banana's because of there distinct shape. " Okay, let's go. We do got weapons you know, so I think were properly armed." We decided to check out the tunnel for a while. As we continued walking down the path, which seemed like hours gone by, we were all lost.


    " Okay Alex, this is all your fault. We're completely lost." Viter said. "My fault? It was your idea for following along with me." Just then we heard a low growl. " What would it be?" I thought. From there I turned to look at Alex and Viter. I could tell by the expression on their face they were thinking the same what I was thinking. We waited a while until we saw a smal shadow. " Wha what is it?" Alex whispered. " I don't know, but I'm not waiting to find out." Viter ran backed and we decided to run back as well. As time passed, we finally made it out alive. Alex excaimed " What.... WAS that back there?!" "I don't know, but I'm not sticking to find out." I said. "Well, what are we gonna do if it comes out?" Viter asked. We all thought about it, till Alex came up with an idea. " How about, we barracade the tunnel?" "If we do that, then it won't escape." Alex announced. I thought of it for a second, but I noticed a slight flaw in that plan. " Yeah, that would work, but what would happen if it manages to escape?" I said. "Darn." Alex said. On that moment, we all had one question, How are we gonna kill it?

    Co-Authors Note: I'm not going to ask for CnC on Chapter 1; since it was Co-Written by me and my Friend. I will, however, ask for CnC for the rest considering I continued it for him and ended halfway through Chapter 4,

    Chapter 2 - The Mission Starts.
    Ever since the day we found that hole, I couldn't stop thinking what was in it. It has been a couple weeks since we were last there. We hadn't got a plan on how to defeat that monster without knowing what it was, and how to kill it. Me, Alex and Viter are in Monster Classification Class right now, so we may be able to identify it. As I was paying attention to the teacher, Alex whispered to me, causing me to lose my concentration. " Hey Noel, do you think we might be able to figure out what were up against?" Alex whispered. " I don't know. I hope this class actually helps us." I said " I mean, our teacher doesn't know a thing about monsters." " True." Viter said " He's a complete idiot, all he does is just tell us about his sad love life. Getting rejected by every cute chick he see's." We all laughed, " Is there a problem to you three nuisance?" The teacher said. " Do I need to write down some detention slips?" "No" We all said.
    After Class Me, Viter, Alex, Lauren and Tommy decided to head over to Richards house to see if he can help us with what were dealing with.. Richard lives over in Ellinia and is the assistant to Grendel the Middle Aged, the second strongest Magician of Maple. He's a very intelligient guy and is the smartest in our school. He's friends with Alex and soon we became friends. When we got there, he greeted us, along with Tommy and Lauren. "So how have you guys been?" He said. "Good, but, I have something to tell you guys, Lauren, Tommy and also you Richy" I said. "Can we talk in your room?" "Sure" He said. Once we got to his room, our meeting about the situation started. \par
    \par
    After I explained the situation me, Viter and Alex went through down in the hole, the three of our friends agreed to help. "So do you guys know whats down in the hole?" Tommy said. "No but it's big, creepy and has light blue eyes. I can also see horns on it." Alex said. " Hmm, I'll do some research, if I can't find anything I'll ask Grendel." Richard said. " I'll ask the leaders of Henesys, Perion, Kerning and Natilus Harbor." Tommy said. " What can I do guys?" Lauren questioned. " You can prepare supplies and weapons, if that's okay with you. Me, Alex and Viter will go back to the hole to see if it's the same as we left it." I said. "Our mission starts in 2 weeks from Wednesday." Soon we all agreed, and from that point. Our mission .... begins.

    Summary - Chapter 1 and 2

    Noel, Viter and Alex , three best friends, love to have adventures. They often play Live Action Role Play everyday by doing Make Believes, Fighting Imaginary Monster, Having Adventures and all sorts of childish stuff. But one day, they found this mysterious hole over at Tera Forest. Alex thought it would be cool to discover what was inside while the other's chicken out. He soon then convince the two into joining him into the hole. There they walk for hours, hoping to see what amazing things they would find, but they went too far once they encounter a mysterious being shrouded in darkness, scaring the three to leaving. Few weeks later, Noel, Alex and Viter are in school, taking M.C.C, hoping to learn what creature they have discovered, but with no luck they soon join forces with friends Lauren, Tommy and Richard by asking them to help the three kids into defeating the monster. The three agree to help, creating the very first Tomato Rangers."

    Chapter 3 - Framed.
    " Come on Noel, we need to check the seal before night comes." Alex said. " I'm going.... as fast as I can, I'm not as fast ....as you guys are." I said breathlessly. " .....fatty" Viter mumbled. " Hey! I heard that." I said frustated. " Okay, I admit I am a little round. I 'm a tomato after all." "Part." Alex corrected. After the talk, we finally magaged to reach the seal, but it was missing. "Who.. who could have done this?" Viter said. " I don't know, but I'm not waiting to find out." Alex said. " I'm going in after whoever that person could be." "What do you mean you're going in, I'm coming along to." I said. " Me to" Viter said. " What else is there to do out here when you both are getting all the fun?" " Thanks guys. Alright let's go." Alex said. We soon all agreed and jumped down into the hole, hoping to find what we're up against and who caused the seal to break.


    We walked inside the tunnel, retracing our steps, to find out who's in here and what is. Alex upfront, Me in the middle and Viter in the back. " Doesn't everything look a bit... different to you guys?" I said. " What do you mean different?" Alex said. " Well, the tunnels look a lot wider and taller; there are various cracks and a distinct oder." " I'm guessing some poop too.." Noel said disgustingly. Suddenly, we heard a noise. But we heard that noise before, but we can't quite figure where did they heard it. We then turned our heads to see what it was, from the looks of our faces, we saw Cello. Of course Cello, he would always do the stupidest things and want to figure things out. Cello was only 14, the 6th oldest friends, but he is in our grade since he got held back twice for T-Ping one of the teacher's house and egging the principles' car. He is a trouble maker and been that way since his parents got divorced. I guess we would have never guess it would've been Cello since he lives all the way in Kerning City. It has to be at least a 6 hour trip from there to Maple Island. " What you doing here Cello ol' buddy?" Alex said. " Well, my family is here on vacation for a week, so I'd thought I'd visit you guys." He said. " When I came by passing, I saw a hole in a tree. Big enough to fit a person, and I came to check it out and here I am. What you guys doing here?" " Well, a month ago Me, Noel and Viter were having our usual adventures and I came across this tree and found a hole in it." Alex said. after a while, we explained everything to Cello. " So you wanna help?" I asked. " Sure, anything for a great best friend."

    3 hours since Viter, Alex and I left, Richard, Tommy and Lauren began their search. Richard researching, Lauren going to every department and Tommy at almost every town. As they regrouped at a restraunt, a sudden police siren was in the distance, not knowing it was in their direction." Did you get everything Lauren?" Richard asked. "Yeah, I got everything. Potions, Food and ammunition, but are you sure that what the guys said weren't just pulling a fast one on us?" Lauren questioned. " No, I've known them since Grade school. I know them best that this isn't one of there lude jokes with there Imaginative Adventures." He said " I just hope that what we are doing is the right thing to do." After a short moment, Tommy broke the silence. " Hey guys I just remembered. Was the description Alex told us Big, Dark with blue eyes and has two horns and possibly lives in caves?" Tommy asked. " Yeah." " Is it this?" Tommy says by showing us a picture of an ancient best, Crimson Balrog. Shocked as we are, Police squadron came in. " Are your names Richard, Lauren and Tomias?" The officer asked. " Yeah, what do you want with us." Lauren said. " You three are under arrest for stealing the forbidden crystal. Take them in!" He said angerly. " Wa Wait, What crystal are you talking about?" Richard questioned. " ......... The Crystal of Chaos Balrog."

    Chapter 4 - What?
    " Wait what?" Lauren said " What do you mean were in going to jail and we know Nothing about that crystal!" " We have caught evidence that you three have stolen the Rare crystal. I believe that this, hankerchief, is yours." He said, handing Richard the hankerchief. " This... this can't be mine. I specifically remember leaving this hankerchief back at my house on my drawer." Richard said being shocked. We couldn't believe it, we did nothing wrong and yet, we're being sentenced to prison for nothing." We were Framed." Tommy said " And how do you know my real name? That's been kept a secret since my entire life." "Oh, don't mind us. The government knows everthing. Even your little, happy time in the bathroom everyday after your friend, Jenn, comes to your house." The Officer says. Richard and Lauren chuckled.

    And this is where I ended. I will not continue this. I don't even remember what I was writing about again. You can continue the story if you would like to; just copy and paste it onto a note document. If so, then give credits to me, Danny and my friend Noel, for writing out this story.
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    Lethologic

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    Re: A Story with no Title

    Post by Lethologic on Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:29 pm

    I'll find the time to read that later.

    It's a little lengthy. zack\'s flower

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    Re: A Story with no Title

    Post by Guest on Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:40 am

    That's really something. I honestly wouldn't be able to have done that myself. Because I'm lazy, Lol. It's a really nice story. :]
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    Lethologic

    Posts : 166
    Mesos : 10746
    Location : (´▽`)/

    Re: A Story with no Title

    Post by Lethologic on Wed Oct 26, 2011 5:00 pm

    Took me long enough but I finally read it.

    I liked it but it could have used more figurative language.

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    Re: A Story with no Title

    Post by Guest on Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:09 pm

    Intresting even though i wouldnt be able to make such a long story

    Xana

    Posts : 77
    Mesos : 10797

    Re: A Story with no Title

    Post by Xana on Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:16 pm

    The story is intriguing, though I only read the first 2 chapters. Since you don't want CnC on the first one, I'll just write a revised version of the second one. If you wanna look, go ahead.

    Spoiler:
    Ever since the day we found that hole, I couldn't stop thinking what was
    in it. It has been a couple weeks since we were last there. We haven't made a plan on how to defeat that monster because we didn't know what it was and how we were to kill it. Alex,Viter, and I are in Monster Classification
    Class right now so we may be able to identify it. While I was paying
    attention to the teacher, Alex whispered to me. "Hey Noel. Do you think we could find out
    what were up against?" "I don't know. I hope this class
    actually helps us. I mean, our teacher doesn't know a thing
    about monsters." Viter nodded in agreement. " True. He is pretty dumb. All he
    does is just tell us about his sad love life. Getting rejected by every
    cute chick he sees." All three of us laughed as the teacher walked up to us. "Is there a problem," the teacher asked in a bitter tone. " Do I need to write you three up?" "No." We all said in unison.

    After class, Viter, Alex, Lauren,
    Tommy, and I decided to head over to Richard's house to see if he can help us
    with what were dealing with. Richard lives in Ellinia and is Grendel the Middle Aged's assistant. He's also the second strongest Magician of
    Maple. He's a very intelligient guy and is the smartest in our school.
    He's friends with Alex and we became friends in no time. When we got there, he
    greeted us along with Tommy and Lauren. "So how have you guys been?"
    He asked. "Good, but I have something to tell you guys," I said pointing at Lauren, Richard, and Tommy. "Can we talk in your room?" "Sure" He said.
    Once we got to his room, I didn't waste any time explaining the whole situation.


    After
    I explained the situation Viter, Alex, and I went through in the
    hole, the other three agreed to help. "So do you guys know
    what's in the hole?" Tommy asked curiously. "No, but it's big, creepy, and has
    light blue eyes. I think I saw horns on it too," said Alex. Richard was scratching his head in annoyance and spoke. "Ah... This could be bad. I'll do
    some research on this creature and if I can't find anything, I'll ask Grendel." "And I'll ask the leaders of Henesys, Perion, Kerning and Natilus Harbor,"
    Tommy said as he got up. Lauren raised her hand soon after and asked,"What can I do guys?" I got up too and said, "You can prepare
    supplies and weapons, if that's okay with you. Alex, Viter, and I will
    go back to the hole to see if it changed." I looked at the calendar in Richard's room and said, "Our
    mission starts on the Wednesday after next Wednesday." We all agreed and from
    that point our mission had begun.

    Not sure why it looks so weird in the spoiler, but there it is. :/
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    AnhDan

    Posts : 49
    Mesos : 10723
    Location : My House and the Park

    Re: A Story with no Title

    Post by AnhDan on Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:27 am

    Xana wrote:The story is intriguing, though I only read the first 2 chapters. Since you don't want CnC on the first one, I'll just write a revised version of the second one. If you wanna look, go ahead.

    Spoiler:
    Ever since the day we found that hole, I couldn't stop thinking what was
    in it. It has been a couple weeks since we were last there. We haven't made a plan on how to defeat that monster because we didn't know what it was and how we were to kill it. Alex,Viter, and I are in Monster Classification
    Class right now so we may be able to identify it. While I was paying
    attention to the teacher, Alex whispered to me. "Hey Noel. Do you think we could find out
    what were up against?" "I don't know. I hope this class
    actually helps us. I mean, our teacher doesn't know a thing
    about monsters." Viter nodded in agreement. " True. He is pretty dumb. All he
    does is just tell us about his sad love life. Getting rejected by every
    cute chick he sees." All three of us laughed as the teacher walked up to us. "Is there a problem," the teacher asked in a bitter tone. " Do I need to write you three up?" "No." We all said in unison.

    After class, Viter, Alex, Lauren,
    Tommy, and I decided to head over to Richard's house to see if he can help us
    with what were dealing with. Richard lives in Ellinia and is Grendel the Middle Aged's assistant. He's also the second strongest Magician of
    Maple. He's a very intelligient guy and is the smartest in our school.
    He's friends with Alex and we became friends in no time. When we got there, he
    greeted us along with Tommy and Lauren. "So how have you guys been?"
    He asked. "Good, but I have something to tell you guys," I said pointing at Lauren, Richard, and Tommy. "Can we talk in your room?" "Sure" He said.
    Once we got to his room, I didn't waste any time explaining the whole situation.


    After
    I explained the situation Viter, Alex, and I went through in the
    hole, the other three agreed to help. "So do you guys know
    what's in the hole?" Tommy asked curiously. "No, but it's big, creepy, and has
    light blue eyes. I think I saw horns on it too," said Alex. Richard was scratching his head in annoyance and spoke. "Ah... This could be bad. I'll do
    some research on this creature and if I can't find anything, I'll ask Grendel." "And I'll ask the leaders of Henesys, Perion, Kerning and Natilus Harbor,"
    Tommy said as he got up. Lauren raised her hand soon after and asked,"What can I do guys?" I got up too and said, "You can prepare
    supplies and weapons, if that's okay with you. Alex, Viter, and I will
    go back to the hole to see if it changed." I looked at the calendar in Richard's room and said, "Our
    mission starts on the Wednesday after next Wednesday." We all agreed and from
    that point our mission had begun.

    Not sure why it looks so weird in the spoiler, but there it is. :/

    It's pretty good, though a bit better than what I wrote, but this was created by me and my friend in the past I guess. I did liked your re-typed of Ch. 2 better than mine though. :)

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